Leigha.org » Motherhood

My daughter has as many friends as I do.

leigha — Tue, 05 Sep 2006 00:49:04 +0000

It seems almost all of my close friends have small children. As a result, Anna has no lack of babes to play with. Both she and I are very fortunate for all of these people in our lives. The “mommy support group” has been a critical element in my transformation from working girl to stay-at-home mommy. I could not have survived the first six months without their support and at times, guidance. Our world is a better place with these little people in it: “Big” Matthew, age 2 1/2 years; Connor, age 1 1/2 years; Bella, age 10 months; “Little” Matthew, age 7 months; Abby, age 7 months; Anna, age 6 months; Harry, age 1 month; and Ava, due any day now. (Side note: I am so excited for her first birthday party with all her little friends in party hats! The pictures are going to be so cute!)

Life with Stinky

leigha — Sat, 20 May 2006 02:00:59 +0000

Stinky is almost 3 months old. The idea that I am her mother has finally sunk in. For the longest time, I felt like an exceptionally hard-working baby-sitter, and that Stinky’s family would come to claim her soon. Reality seemed surreal even though I had daydreamed about it my whole life. From a very young age, I couldn’t wait to be a mother. At ten, I vowed I would have a child by age eighteen. At eighteen I pushed it back to age twenty-three. At twenty-three I was struggling to support myself so I promised to “do it” by my late 20’s. By my mid 20’s I was content with having a child by thirty. That was my plan until I unexpectedly became pregnant at 26 last June. I have seen first-hand that fertility is a gift and not a right. Pregnancy came with mixed emotions but I was grateful to have been able to conceive a child so easily. My thoughts the first three months of my pregnancy focused on the alien growing inside me. There were no outward signs of her life, but many subtle signs that my life was forever altered. The first time I saw her, I had been her host for eight weeks. On the ultrasound screen she looked like a gummy bear suspended inside me. Her tiny heartbeat flickered on the screen and her eyes were dark circles in her head. An alien gummy bear, if I ever saw one. Nevertheless, love for this little human started swelling inside me. I felt connected to her now. It didn’t take me long to decide she was a she. I don’t know how I knew, I just knew and I was certain. We can chalk it up to mother’s intuition, for lack of a real explanation. I didn’t see her again for another 12 weeks. This time as we spied on her inside her home, it was clear she was human. And although I could not tell what the doctor was pointing at, he declared this human to be female. With that her name was chosen and I decided that to me, she would be Stinky. Why? I have no real explanation for that either. It is just who she was to me. The first 20 weeks being her hostess had flown by, by the last 20 weeks were crawling by. Thirty-eight weeks after Stinky’s conception I was granted a reprieve. It was declared that Stinky was quickly outgrowing her home and that she must relocate immediately. Two days later, Stinky was evicted from my womb and relocated to a much bigger space. Upon pushing her out of her beloved home, she began to cry as did I. In that moment I felt such a sense of accomplishment and fufillment. But as quickly as those feelings came, they went. Uncertainty set in. I knew how to care for a baby but not how to mother her. Thus, I felt like her baby-sitter. I loved her with all my heart and did the very best I could to take care of her. I was not suffering from post partum depression or hormonal imbalances, I simply did not associate myself with the motherhood. On her fourth night of life, I sobbed that every moment that passed with her was gone forever. I wanted her frozen in time so that she would never grow up. (That night I do believe I was hormonalyl imbalanced!) For nearly three months I’ve changed diapers, dragged my tired butt out of bed to feed her, sung lullabies, and taken many, many pictures, all the while wondering when my time as her baby-sitter would end and my time as her mother would begin. For me, the shift has been gradual. Who you are and who you see yourself as, does not change overnight. The feeling of being a mom has grown inside of me very slowly. But just in the last couple of weeks, Stinky’s budding personality has started to emerge and she’s reaching milestones, and I look at myself and know that the most important thing I am is her mother. My daughter rolled over today for the first time. When I saw her do it, I thought it had to have been a fluke thing. I made her demonstrate her ability to roll over another half dozen times before I started excitedly making phone calls declaring Stinky had mastered this skill. My heart has soared with pride all day long. Just like a mom’s should.

A Baby Story

Leigha — Sun, 12 Mar 2006 17:39:03 +0000

Anna Caroline Averbuj was born Wednesday, March 1, 2006 after a sonogram 2 days prior estimated her weight at 8lbs. 14oz. and a head circumference nearing too big to pass through my pelvis. Our OB recommended induction and that afternoon we knew we’d be parents come sometime on Wednesday. We chose our induction date carefully because Pablo’s birthday is March 2nd. I didn’t want to wait until the 3rd to be induced, simply because I was all too eager to see my pregnancy come to an end.

We arrived at the hospital at 6 a.m. Wednesday morning and by 7 a.m. my OB had broke my water. (Side note to future moms: having your water broken is a very uncomfortable procedure) I was 2cm dialated and 80% effaced. All I had to do was sit back and wait for my contractions to get stronger. It didn’t take long because they had also started me on Pitocin. I did lamaze breating through my contractions until about 10:30 a.m. They really were still quite managable but they said I could have the epidural at my request…so why wait for them to get worse, right? Putting in the epidural needle was the most challenging thing to get over mentally. It is hard to relax as someone puts a needle in your back! Coincedentally this was also the hardest part for Pablo. He, unfortunately, could see everything the docotor was doing while I, fortunately, could not. He remained calm and collected until they finished and then he had to sit down. He was very pale and his voice was shaky, totally not in his character. So now, let me tell you, labor is a piece of cake. I can’t feel a thing. I am munching on some popsicles, taking naps, chatting with friends and family. Numbness is bliss! Then my epidural starts to wear off my left side. I am starting to slowly regain feeling. We let the doctor know and they megadose me with more medicine. Now I am so numb I can’t move my feet or legs anymore. It seemed like a small price to pay for comfort. I don’t mind too much and resume my cheerful disposition. To make a long story short, I was only dialating about 1cm every 3 hours. That makes for a long day! At 7p.m. I was 7cm dialated and the OB was coming back in 2 hours to check on me again. Minutes later my epidural started to wear off on my left side again. I politely requested more medicine and hung in there. What seemed like seconds later, my contractions shot through the roof and I was in more pain that I could have ever imagined even if it was only on my left side. I sobbed and begged the nurse to get the doctor to give me more medicine. It seemed like it took forever for him to arrive and then he wanted to “chat” about what he was doing and how much of a dose he would give me BEFORE he administered the medicine. I was in no mood for talking and couldn’t even focus on what he said. Finally, he redosed me and I settled down as the pain eased up. I began feeling lots of pressure and my OB came back to check on me after hearing of my agony. I had dialated from 7cm to 9 1/2cm in 10 minutes! That’s why my contractions had become so painful so quickly. The OB said he’d be back in 10 more minutes because it was almost time to push. Pablo and I started preparing for the final stage of labor. We asked my mom and our friend Stephanie who had been with me all day to wait in the waiting room. Our OB showed me how to push, how to conserve energy, and how to manage my energy to delivery the baby as quickly as possible. Our daughter was postioned “sunny side up” (that’s what the doc called it) meaning her head and chin were tilted back instead of chin to chest. He explained that most first time moms push for an average of 2 hours but I would likely have to push longer because her head was tilted the wrong way. I was not up for that at all. It had been a long enough day as it was. A very focused and determined me pushed for 1 1/2 hours. Anna Caroline arrived at 9:02 p.m. weighing 8lbs. 5oz. and measuring 20.5 inches in length. Pablo cut her umbilical cord. When she was all cleaned up, Pablo brought her to me. Babies are very alert at birth and if you look at the pictures in my photo gallery you can see how intently she is looking at me. On Friday we were discharged from the hospital and Anna came to live in her new home. Since then life with her has been a joy, she makes us laugh everyday.

Getting Ready for March Madness

Leigha — Tue, 03 Jan 2006 01:23:48 +0000

Happy 2006! I am so happy to be rounding the corner into the final stretch of my pregnancy. As expected, the bigger I get, the more uncomfortable I get and I am anxious to get this baby out! Her nursery is almost ready and we are starting to get really excited about her arrival. We just returned from our last trip out of town to Cleveland. We got to spend the New Year with our friends, Erin and Ernest. We had a great time! Next week we start our child birth preparation class. In 2 weeks Pablo is going skiing for the weekend with his brother. Lucky duck! I wish I could go! My last day of school is Feb. 24th and from that day forward I will be taking it easy until the baby comes. Once the baby arrives, Pablo is taking a month off to be home with us and my mom is coming to stay for a week right after her birth. Don’t know when the rest of the grandparents will visit, but I am sure they won’t be able to stay away for too long.

It’s a Girl!!!!!!!!!!

Leigha — Sat, 29 Oct 2005 00:34:05 +0000

The word seems to be out, but in case you haven’t heard, Pablo and I are expecting our first child in March 2006. Her name is to be Anna Caroline Averbuj and she was a very unexpected but welcomed surprise. Anna was my great grandmother’s name. She passed away not long ago at 102 years of age. Caroline is Pablo’s grandmothers name and she is 91. Both woman are an inspiration to those around them. We are proud to make her their namesake.

Right now we are about half way through the pregnancy. It has been relatively easy but I know the hardest part lies ahead. We can’t wait to meet her. Currently we are working on painting the nursery and getting her room organized. My belly has popped and it is clearly visible that I am with child. So far I don’t mind it too much, but I expect it to become more uncomfortable soon.

Welcome

Leigha — Mon, 28 Apr 2003 17:01:40 +0000

Welcome to my web page. Sorry there is not so much to see but it has taken me a long time to learn how to put entries and pictures up on this page. As of now there is not much more to see than pictures of friends and family but hopefully, in the future, there may be more exciting material. Many thanks to Pablo for all his help with this site and also to Vlad, the official founder of Leigha.org